--[The Old Man and the Key](https://www.dailydot.com/memes/old-man-yells-at-cloud-meme/) ##The Oblivious Curmudgeon Refuses to Pay Those Outrageous Prices for Pesach Food ###Charoset Chop in food processor (do not puree): 3 pounds apples<br/> 2 cups walnuts Mix in: 1 cup sugar<br/> 1\/2 cup red wine<br/> 1\/2 cup silan (date honey)<br/> 1\/2 cup lemon juice<br/> 1 tbsp cinnamon<br/> ---- ###Almond butter Puree in food processor for 20 minutes, scraping down sides every few minutes (It only turns smooth in the last few minutes): 2 cups almonds (raw; no need to peel the papery coating)<br/> 1\/4 tsp salt Add with motor running: 1\/2 cup neutral oil<br/> 1\/4 cup brown sugar **Optionally, roast the almonds at 350 for 12 minutes first ---- ###Almond streussel Puree in food processor for 15 minutes, scraping down sides every few minutes; it will almost be almond buttery: 2 cups raw almonds Add: 2 tablespoons neutral oil<br/> 1\/4 cup silan<br/> 1\/4 cup brown sugar Continue to process until it forms coarse crumbs. ---- ###Almond milk Cover with water 2 cups raw almonds Soak overnight, then drain and rinse. No need to remove papery coating. Process in food processor with: 4 cups water Process for 4 minutes. Strain through cheesecloth and squeeze as much milk out as you can. ---- ###Simple syrup Mix in 2 quart pot: 2 cups water<br/> 2 cups sugar bring to a boil and stir until dissolved. Refrigerate. ---- ###Chocolate liqueur Bring to a boil in a 2 qt pot: 1 cup water Add: 1\/4 cup cocoa<br/> 1\/4 cup chocolate chips Puree with handheld blender until smooth. Pour into 1 quart bottle. Add: 1 1\/2 cups simple syrup<br/> 1 cup vodka Mix well. Age 1 week. Shake well before serving ---- ###Cranberry sauce Combine in a 3-quart pot: 3 cups frozen cranberries<br/> 1 cup sugar<br/> 1\/2 cup water<br/> 2 tbsp lemon juice<br/> pinch salt Bring to a boil, then simmer until berries start to burst, about 10 minutes. Then help them along by smooshing them against the side of the pot and continue simmering, stirring occasionally, for 10 more minutes. Allow to cool.