--Created with CoPilot, 2026-10-14 ##The Oblivious Curmudgeon Wishes People Would Make Ice Cream From Soybeans Again, The Way G-d Intended Until Trader Joe's brings theirs back, this will have to do. ###Traitor Joe's Soy Ice Cream Bring to a boil in a 2-quart pot: **2 cups dried soybeans<br/> 4 cups water (should cover the beans well)** Cover, lower heat and simmer for 5 minutes. Allow to cool and refrigerate overnight. This doesn't cook the beans but denatures the [lipoxygenase enzyme](https://doi.org/10.1007/s13197-019-03905-4) that gives them a "beany" flavor. You don't want that in your ice cream. Drain and rinse well, removing any loose skins and debris. Process in a food processor or blender with: **4 cups water** Put a strainer over an Instant Pot liner and pour the puréed beans into a nut milk bag over it, then vigorously extract the liquid. You should get close to 4 cups of raw soy milk. Put the soy residue back into the food processor and process with another: **4 cups water** Extract the milk from this purée as well. The remaining residue is called [okara](https://soyaeats.com/what-is-okara/) and can be used in recipes, but I haven't found any good ones (let me know if you find some). Remember it's still raw! Pressure cook the soy milk for 5 minutes and allow the pressure to naturally release (30 minutes to an hour). Don't leave it in Keep Warm mode too long or it will scorch. You now have real soy milk. Lazy hack: start here with 8 cups of commercial soy milk and bring to a bare simmer. While in Keep Warm mode, add: **1\/4 cup calcium sulfate (Amazon sells this)** Whisk thoroughly and heat for 10 minutes (either at a bare simmer or in the Instant Pot on Keep Warm). You've just made very thin tofu curds. Even lazier hack: blend 16 ounces of silken tofu with 6 cups of commercial soy milk. ####Optional fat for decadent soy ice cream Add: **3 tablespoons refined coconut oil** Stir gently until completely melted, the blend with handheld blender for 2 minutes. The oil needs to be completely emulsified. ####Back to the regular recipe Stir in: **4 teaspons vanilla extract (use real vanilla, not the artificial "flavor") (though [America's Test Kitchen](https://www.americastestkitchen.com/taste_tests/1924-vanilla) says the chemical stuff is fine)** Mix in a separate bowl (you want the xanthan gum well distributed, not dumped in a lump into the soy milk): **4 cups sugar<br/> 1 teaspoon salt<br/> 1 teaspoon xanthan gum** Add to soy milk and mix with handheld blender until completely dissolved. This makes about 9 cups of ice cream base. My ice cream maker can handle 4 cups at a time, so I divide this into 3 mason jars and refrigerate or freeze at least overnight. It needs to be thawed but cold to make good ice cream. It will be a gooey blob that plops out of the jar like a 1950's horror movie.  --Dungeons and Dragons [Gelatinous Cube](https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/16869-gelatinous-cube) Churn in your ice cream maker then freeze overnight. ---- ####Coffee Start with 3 cups of the base. Add: **1 tablespoon instant coffee (decaf or regular, depending on the effect you want)** Dissolve with a hand-held blender. Churn in your ice cream maker then freeze overnight. ---- ####Mocha Cocoa powder is a little more finicky and harder to get to dissolve thoroughly. Start with 3 cups of the base. Mix well in a small bowl: **1 tablespoon instant coffee (decaf or regular, depending on the effect you want)<br/> 2 tablespoons cocoa powder** Gradually stir in: **1 tablespoon hot water** Stir until completely smooth. You can add more water, 1 teaspoon at a time, if needed. Let sit for 5 minutes (this is called [blooming the cocoa](https://www.allrecipes.com/article/how-to-make-cocoa-powder-taste-richer/)). Add the mocha paste to the base and mix with a hand-held blender. Churn in your ice cream maker then freeze overnight. ---- ####Strawberry Start with 3 cups of the base. Process in food processor: **¼ cup frozen strawberries, thawed** Mix thoroughly into 3 cups of the base and churn in ice cream maker. Coarsely crush: **¼ cup freeze-dried strawberries** Gourmet hack from [Max Falkowitz](https://www.seriouseats.com/how-to-make-chocolate-chips-swirls-ice-cream-mix-ins): put in a fine mesh sieve and shake it until the dust falls through. This removes the fine particles that feel gritty. Add to ice cream when it starts to firm up and ride up the paddle. Freeze overnight. ---- ####Cherry Start with 3 cups of the base. Cut into quarters: **2 cups frozen pitted cherries (a 12 ounce bag is a little too much, so eat a few)** Put in a small saucepan. Sprinkle on top: **¼ cup sugar<br/> 1 teaspoon lemon juice** Simmer on medium-low heat for 7 minutes; the cherries will release their juice and form a thick syrup. Remove from heat and add: **1 tablespoon vodka** Stir gently and allow to cool to room temperature. Strain through a fine mesh strainer, reserving syrup. Refrigerate cherries (they need to be cold before being added to the ice cream. Add to the ice cream base: **2 tablespoons of cherry syrup<br/> ¼ teaspoon almond extract (it's very concentrated)** Mix thoroughly with a handheld blender. Churn in your ice cream maker. Remove the paddle and fold the cherries with a rubber spatula, by hand. Freeze overnight. ---- ###Mango Sorbet ####Simple syrup Mix until the sugar is completely dissolved: **½ cup hot water<br/> 1 cup sugar** ####Sorbet base Process until very smooth, about 5 minutes, scraping sides as needed: **24 ounces frozen mango chunks (about 4½ cups)<br/> simple syrup above<br/> 4 tablespoons balsamic vinegar<br/> 1 tablespoon lime juice<br/> generous pinch of salt (⅛ tsp)<br/> 1 tablespoon vodka** Churn in ice cream maker, then freeze overnight. ---- ###Alcohol Note The vodka keeps the fruit a little softer and easier to scoop straight from the freezer. One tablespoon of 80-proof vodka in the whole recipe means each ½-cup serving contains only about 0.025 oz of pure alcohol, roughly 1\/24 of a standard drink. This is about the same amount of alcohol as the vanilla extract in the soy cream. ###Nutrition Facts Generated by Microsoft Copilot, 2026-11-03 {:.sources} | Per ½-cup serving | Mango Sorbet | Soy Ice Cream (Original) | Soy Ice Cream (Decadent) | |-------------------|-------------:|-------------------------:|------------------------------------:| | Calories | 138 kcal | 265 kcal | 285 kcal | | Protein | 0.6 g | 7.5 g | 7.5 g | | Fat | 0.2 g | 4.1 g | 6.4 g | | Saturated Fat | 0.0 g | 0.6 g | 2.1 g | | Carbohydrates | 35.5 g | 51 g | 51 g | | Sugars | 21 g | 45 g | 45 g | | Fiber | 1.5 g | 1.9 g | 1.9 g | | Sodium | 4 mg | 130 mg | 130 mg |